Patient (lifting arm): Doctor, it hurts when I do this. Doctor: Don't do that.

Doctor: We need to get these people to a hospital! Nurse: What is it? Doctor: It's a big building with a lot of doctors, but that's not important now!

Doctor: Does it hurt when you do this? Patient: Yes. Doctor: Well, don't do that.

Doctor, don't cut so deep. That's the third operating table you've ruined this month!"

The resident began his examination of an Elderly man by asking him what brought him to the hospital. The man replied, "An ambulance."